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Below you will fine: Narcissistic Family Origins Questionnaire—A Four Quadrant Assessment.
Welcome & Privacy Notice
This short questionnaire (about 10-15 minutes) helps to better understand key aspects of your family of origin. All answers are encrypted, stored on a password-protected system, and never shared without your written consent—except where required by law (e.g., imminent risk or court order).
Instructions for the Questionnaire:
This questionnaire is designed as a reflective tool to help you explore potential dynamics in your family of origin, particularly those related to narcissistic or emotionally immature patterns. It draws inspiration from established resources in psychology and therapy, including checklists from Lindsay C. Gibson's Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, Rebecca C. Mandeville's work on family scapegoating abuse, Nedra Glover Tawwab's Drama Free, and concepts from Bowen Family Systems Theory, Sam Vaknin, Ramani Durvasula, Jay Reid, and related literature on narcissistic families. It is structured around Ken Wilber's four-quadrant model to provide a holistic view:
Upper Left (UL: Interior-Individual): Focuses on your internal experiences, such as thoughts, feelings, codependency, and personal impacts from family dynamics.
Upper Right (UR: Exterior-Individual): Focuses on observable behaviors of key family members (e.g., parents, siblings) or yourself in response.
Lower Left/Right (LL/LR: Interior/Exterior-Collective): Focuses on shared family beliefs, systemic dysfunctions, and group dynamics (e.g., gaslighting, manipulation, lack of differentiation, flying monkeys).
The questionnaire includes 60 items (20 per quadrant section). Respond to each statement on a scale of 1 to 5 based on your experiences in your family of origin (or with in-laws, if applicable):
1: Not at all
2: Rarely
3: Sometimes
4: Often
5: Very Often
This is not a diagnostic tool and does not confirm any clinical conditions, such as narcissism or personality disorders. It is intended for self-reflection and educational and therapeutic support tool. Results offer general insights into how these dynamics may appear in each quadrant. Consult a qualified professional for personalized guidance.
Scoring and Interpretation
Press Submit and I will respond to you in 24hrs with the answer. If you want to score yourself before, you can calculate them here:
Calculate your score for each section by summing your responses (possible range: 20–100 per section). Divide by 20 to get an average score per question (1–5). Interpret based on the following thresholds, which indicate the potential prominence of these dynamics in that quadrant of your life. Higher scores suggest greater alignment with patterns described in the referenced literature, but this is for reflection only—not a substitute for professional assessment.
Low (20–40 total / 1–2 average): Minimal indication of these dynamics in this quadrant. You may experience occasional challenges, but they do not significantly dominate your family interactions or self-perception.
Moderate (41–70 total / 2.1–3.5 average): Moderate presence, suggesting some dysfunctional patterns that could influence relationships or well-being. Reflection or support may help address recurring themes.
High (71–100 total / 3.6–5 average): Significant indication, pointing to entrenched patterns that may contribute to ongoing stress, codependency, or trauma. Consider therapeutic exploration, such as Bowen-informed family systems work or trauma-focused therapy.
Quadrant-Specific Insights
LL/LR (Family System): Low scores suggest a relatively differentiated family with open communication. Moderate scores may indicate occasional enmeshment or denial. High scores could reflect a "collective ego mass" (per Bowen), with flying monkeys, gaslighting, and systemic anxiety perpetuating dysfunction—potentially showing up as isolation or repeated conflicts in current family ties.
UR (Behaviors): Low scores imply consistent, empathetic actions from family members. Moderate scores point to inconsistency or defensiveness. High scores may highlight narcissistic traits like love-bombing cycles or stonewalling, manifesting in your life as unpredictable interactions that erode trust.
UL (Personal Impacts): Low scores indicate strong self-awareness and emotional resilience. Moderate scores suggest some self-doubt or codependency. High scores could reveal internalized shame, rumination, or "crazy-making," appearing as chronic anxiety, difficulty in asserting needs, or patterns of apologizing for others' faults in your daily experiences.
If these results resonate, they may qualify you as an ideal client for support focused on family-of-origin healing. For deeper analysis, seek a licensed therapist familiar with narcissistic abuse recovery.