The Library
Disclaimer
This library contains affiliate links. This means that if you choose to purchase a book through these links, I may earn a small commission to help support my work, at no extra cost to you. Please know that I only recommend resources I have personally vetted and believe will genuinely support your growth and recovery.
Narcissism & Family Systems
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents (Lindsay C. Gibson)
Identifies the tell-tale traits of emotionally immature parents, teaches “detached observation” to curb reactivity, and offers boundary scripts that end the self-blame loop.
Malignant Self-Love (Sam Vaknin)
Explains the narcissist’s False Self and need for “supply,” helping readers depersonalize abuse and enforce low-contact, no-game boundaries.
Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed (Rebecca C. Mandeville)
Coins Family Scapegoating Abuse (FSA), links it to C-PTSD and toxic shame, and provides self-assessment plus boundary tactics to reclaim the “true self.”
It’s Not You (Dr. Ramani Durvasula)
Uses the DIMMER model to spot every flavor of narcissism, preaches radical acceptance (they won’t change), and lays out gaslight-resistant habits and documentation tips.
Drama Free (Nedra Glover Tawwab)
Reframes boundaries as self-preservation, supplies cycle-breaking scripts, and balances firm limits with compassionate understanding of family history.
The Drama of the Gifted Child (Alice Miller)
Shows how the scapegoat’s “false self” forms, insists on grieving suppressed pain, and calls for “enlightened witnesses” to validate reality.
The Body Keeps the Score (Bessel van der Kolk)
Maps trauma’s imprint on the nervous system and recommends somatic avenues—yoga, EMDR, neurofeedback—to restore self-trust.
Trauma and the Unbound Body (Judith Blackstone)
Links fascia tightness to stored trauma, then guides readers into Fundamental Consciousness and core breathwork to dissolve those constrictions.
Living in Defiance of the Narcissist (Jay Reid)
Unmasks internalized “narc rules,” teaches gaslight-proof boundaries, and prescribes “safe relationships” to rebuild healthy self-worth.
Boundaries (Drs. Henry Cloud & John Townsend)
Defines emotional property lines, invokes the Law of Sowing and Reaping, and gives assertive scripts that stop rescuing and start self-care.
It Didn’t Start With You (Mark Wolynn)
Tracks unexplained symptoms back to ancestral trauma via the Core Language Map and offers rituals/genograms to end generational cycles.
Bowen Theory’s Secrets (Michael E. Kerr)
Introduces differentiation of self, emotional triangles, and multigenerational transmission—key system lenses for depersonalizing scapegoat blame.
Trauma and the Soul (Donald Kalsched)
Describes the self-care “soul-child” split and archetypal inner persecutors, then guides psycho-spiritual integration through dream and body work.
Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers (Stephanie M. Kriesberg)
Distinguishes grandiose vs. vulnerable mother styles, dismantles the “critical inner voice,” and supplies guilt-free boundary scripts and reality-check worksheets.
The Narcissistic Family (Donaldson-Pressman & Pressman)
Highlights child-as-supply conditioning, long-term self-esteem damage, and offers journaling, role-play, and group work to regain identity.
5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life (Bill Eddy)
Profiles high-conflict personalities and arms readers with CARS & BIFF communication to neutralize blame games.
Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents (Lindsay C. Gibson)
Deepens the EIP profile, adds “don’t fix—detach” guidance, and focuses on cultivating a self-defined life.
Internal Family Systems Therapy (Richard C. Schwartz)
Presents the parts-based model and “unburdening” steps that turn inner critics and exiles into allies.
Growing Up as the Scapegoat (Jay Reid)
Validates the pain, prescribes distance, then shows how defying the narcissist’s rules restores authentic living.
The Emotionally Absent Mother (Jasmin Lee Cori)
Names the invisible wound of emotional neglect and teaches re-parenting rituals that repair self-worth and trust.
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving (Pete Walker)
Explains emotional flashbacks, the 4F responses, and self-compassionate tools that turn survival instincts into growth.
No Bad Parts (Richard C. Schwartz)
Updates IFS for lay readers, stressing that every part—even shame—has a protective intent, inviting compassionate inner dialogue.
Applies Polyvagal Theory to daily life, offering vagal breathing, “glimmers,” and environment tweaks that shift the nervous system from defense to connection.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (John Gottman & Nan Silver)
Provides love-maps, bids, and repair tactics that transform communication—vital for couples untangling inherited dysfunction.
Guides a six-step dialogue with the inner child, cementing self-compassion and boundary strength against ongoing family pressure.